I have gotten a few messages lately of people wondering where I’ve been. And the answer is, right here. But I don’t think that’s what you meant when you asked me. So let’s talk about what’s been going on with my lack of personal updates.
I don’t know that I’ve made it clear what the intention of my site is, and when left to the imagination, I’ve found that people tend to assume that the intention of anything on the internet is to be like the most popular hubs of the modern internet: perpetual growth, constant output, attention-grabbing, virality. The TikTok model.
But that’s never been my intention here.
Although there are elements of the site (like this blog) that are designed for me to be able to share my thoughts over time, the heart and soul of this place is the library, not my personal voice. And the library continues to be actively maintained — I am here nearly every day, cleaning up spam, doing updates, fixing links, and occasionally adding things.
The other aspects of the site, like this blog, were never intended to keep up with our fast-paced post-reel world. I never put myself on any sort of posting schedule. I have nothing to sell you. I have no desire for a bigger soapbox in the occult world. It is an outlet for my thoughts as I have them, and sometimes I simply don’t have a lot of thoughts that I’d like to share publicly. This is especially the case since I finished the most active phase of site-building, and decided to move on from my Reddit account.
And that makes a nice segue into other aspects of why I am posting less.
This is but one small aspect of my life. Other areas of my life have become much more important, particularly in the last 6 months, and I am running the sort of resource that is a target for ideological attack in our current social climate. I have other considerations I need to put above posting about occult topics, and my time is much more limited that it was before. My goal for this site in the coming years is not to grow — it is simply to survive the bumpy road ahead.
Ultimately, my most important wish for this site has always been to create a comprehensive resource about Lilith that stands the test of time. That’s it. Everything else is secondary.
And that’s not sexy, or viral, or meme-worthy, and it doesn’t feed our relentless addiction to more and more content.
But I have never desired to distract you. I’ve only ever desired to provide you with easier access to resources for you to think for yourself.
I’d like to be perfectly clear: if anything is going to change this year, it will most likely be in the form of less personal content, not more. And if that happens, it will be one of several measures taken to harden the site against uncertainty. What matters to me is that the site continues to exist, not that I continue to be able to pontificate on it.
So if you’ve continued to visit and support me through these quiet times, thank you. If you’ve donated, thank you even more. Hosting bills still need paid, and your contribution has helped support that. If my lack of new personal content is disappointing, I understand.
But when you are over your disappointment, my hope is the site will still be here for you to pick through the next time you feel the itch to do so. And I’d like you to know that every decision I have made has been with that sole goal in mind.
I’m here, and this is still a well-kempt temple. I read every comment you write, and every note you leave on my ko-fi. But sometimes, to endure, temples must be quiet escapes, not town centers.
– The Caretaker behind the curtain
